There is a bridge I cross each day that is insane - The Berkeley Bridge over the Elizabeth River in Virginia.
Here is the situation:
Approaching the bridge from the South [and connecting exactly at the bottom of the bridge] is an on-ramp from a check/weigh station, 2 lanes of North bound traffic from a freeway and 3 lanes of North-bound traffic emerging from a tunnel.
All these hit the 3 lane bridge at the same time... who designed this?.
The constant movement of cars ON the bridge itself explains all chaos theories - because despite the insanity, there are rarely accidents and everyone seems to get where they are wanting to go.
People on the left seem to all want to be on the right [for exits I'll get to] and people on the right want the opposite... no one wants the middle because just past the top of the bridge is one of those plastic and metal smashing posts that helps you choose a direction.
Anyway...
Where was I... Oh yeah....
Should you choose to go RIGHT you have 2 lanes that soon merge into 4 headed East.
Should you choose to go LEFT you have 2 lanes with an option to peal off to the right for a loop-around under toward the West. The 2 lanes that continue forward are greeted with a traffic signal within a few yards as your entrance into the city.
I am sure there are worse situations out there... but for the life of me I can't think of one.
:)
Thursday, April 22, 2004
Wednesday, April 21, 2004
Writing Style Analysis
A friend of mine found this great website and did an analysis of my writing style.
The analysis checks to see if the words were written by a man or a woman!
A simple cut and paste at first seems like no big deal... but when your gender is on the line it's another story.
Thank God the results were in my favor!
I would hate to have to go home this evening and tell my wife of 19 years that I was actually a woman.
Not that there is anything wrong with that!
:D
The analysis checks to see if the words were written by a man or a woman!
A simple cut and paste at first seems like no big deal... but when your gender is on the line it's another story.
Thank God the results were in my favor!
I would hate to have to go home this evening and tell my wife of 19 years that I was actually a woman.
Not that there is anything wrong with that!
:D
Dog Nearly Croaked
Our dog 'Skipper' was napping on a cool air vent yesterday.
One of the items on his collar somehow caught on the vent and when he tried to stand up - he couldn't.
He totally FREAKED!
He pulled the whole vent cover off and thrashed about in the kitchen until it finally broke free.
He was thoroughly dazed and in 'shock' for a few minutes... and rightly so.
He had a nasty gash across his neck that, thank God, didn't cut any arteries.
He recovered by sitting the in the sunshine on our back deck most of the day.
Woof.
Who says only 'CATS' have nine lives!
One of the items on his collar somehow caught on the vent and when he tried to stand up - he couldn't.
He totally FREAKED!
He pulled the whole vent cover off and thrashed about in the kitchen until it finally broke free.
He was thoroughly dazed and in 'shock' for a few minutes... and rightly so.
He had a nasty gash across his neck that, thank God, didn't cut any arteries.
He recovered by sitting the in the sunshine on our back deck most of the day.
Woof.
Who says only 'CATS' have nine lives!
Monday, April 19, 2004
Firsts
There are few things as precious as a child's first steps, first words, first time they call you DADDY, first bowl of spaghetti, first spilt milk, first joke that isn't funny but you laugh anyway...
... firsts are great.
Well, my 3 year old just hit another FIRSTS milestone...
... He figured out [quite well I must add] how to dial my office phone number from home.
The novelty is almost overwhelming.... both of us!
:)
... firsts are great.
Well, my 3 year old just hit another FIRSTS milestone...
... He figured out [quite well I must add] how to dial my office phone number from home.
The novelty is almost overwhelming.... both of us!
:)
Friday, April 16, 2004
Great... just great.
I put a counter mechanism on my site and then it starts giving me errors.
Fairly typical... since my middle name is Murphy.
Kidding.
Follow this link anyhow for more Murphy's Laws!
:)
Fairly typical... since my middle name is Murphy.
Kidding.
Follow this link anyhow for more Murphy's Laws!
:)
Friday, April 09, 2004
Counterpoint
My narcissism was acting up quite badly today.
I decided to put a "counter"element on my other blog... The Daily Sketch.
I just had to know how many folks actually look at the sketches besides a few friends and family!!!
:)
I decided to put a "counter"element on my other blog... The Daily Sketch.
I just had to know how many folks actually look at the sketches besides a few friends and family!!!
:)
Kyrie Eleison
I always wondered what Mister Mister was saying in that song... "Kyrie Eleison"... now I know.
Great, all these years I thought it was just mumbo jumbo song lyrics like "Inna Godda Davida Baby" by Iron Butterfly, or the lyrics "The girl with colitis goes by..." in Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds by Elton John [John Lennon and Paul McCartney original lyrics].
At least those aren't Greek... just mumbles.
Here is a link to more miss-heard lyrics. KISSTHISGUY.COM
Kyrie Eleison is Greek for "Lord Have Mercy".
People cried out for Mercy in the Old Testament and were healed by Jesus on several occasions.
A dying Christian was asked on his death bed, "Are you going to receive your reward?"
"No, no!" he breathed. "I go to receive not my reward but God's mercy."
Great, all these years I thought it was just mumbo jumbo song lyrics like "Inna Godda Davida Baby" by Iron Butterfly, or the lyrics "The girl with colitis goes by..." in Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds by Elton John [John Lennon and Paul McCartney original lyrics].
At least those aren't Greek... just mumbles.
Here is a link to more miss-heard lyrics. KISSTHISGUY.COM
Kyrie Eleison is Greek for "Lord Have Mercy".
People cried out for Mercy in the Old Testament and were healed by Jesus on several occasions.
A dying Christian was asked on his death bed, "Are you going to receive your reward?"
"No, no!" he breathed. "I go to receive not my reward but God's mercy."
Friday, March 26, 2004
Top of Mt Everest
Feeling like you're on top of the world?
Check out... this link!
May take a second or two to load... but well worth it.
Check out... this link!
May take a second or two to load... but well worth it.
Wednesday, March 24, 2004
Empty Trap
Rats!... I mean Mice!
Weird how I was disappointed not to see a mouse in the trap.
I guess deep down inside I'm not convinced that it is over.
I'll keep my eyes open.
If I see any new mouse poo-doo around, I may have to switch to new tactics...
heh heh heh
:)
Weird how I was disappointed not to see a mouse in the trap.
I guess deep down inside I'm not convinced that it is over.
I'll keep my eyes open.
If I see any new mouse poo-doo around, I may have to switch to new tactics...
heh heh heh
:)
Tuesday, March 23, 2004
Got Another One!!!
'SNAP' went the trap.
'SNAP' went the neck.
Mouse number 2 is down for the count!
I can't tell whether this little critter was the parent, sibling or child...
since they are all about the same size.
:)
Dog food was the bait.
A tasty morsel had he got one millimeter further.
Shall we try for 3?
'SNAP' went the neck.
Mouse number 2 is down for the count!
I can't tell whether this little critter was the parent, sibling or child...
since they are all about the same size.
:)
Dog food was the bait.
A tasty morsel had he got one millimeter further.
Shall we try for 3?
Monday, March 22, 2004
Mouse in the House
Actually, it wasn't in the house... it was in the garage.
Since my wife doesn't read this blog [yet] I can freely say there was a mouse in our house.
She would freak if she knew.
She hates meeses to pieces.
She would NOT venture into the garage if she knew a tiny rodent was lurking around and possibly watching her every move.
Truth is, it was sneaking into our dog food bin.
I wouldn't have known except for when we reached the bottom of the bin... I spotted a little tiny piece of mouse poo-doo.
I knew what it was instantly and set a simple squash-your-head-off trap.
PETA go soak your head.
The trap worked like it was supposed to.
:)
I've used the sticky traps in the past, but different brands make different 'sticky' stuff and mice have escaped... leaving some fur and poo-doo.
The whole idea of being stuck there with their face in a dollop of peanut butter causes them to wet themselves.
I reset the trap just in case he's got a family or some smoking buddies.
Since my wife doesn't read this blog [yet] I can freely say there was a mouse in our house.
She would freak if she knew.
She hates meeses to pieces.
She would NOT venture into the garage if she knew a tiny rodent was lurking around and possibly watching her every move.
Truth is, it was sneaking into our dog food bin.
I wouldn't have known except for when we reached the bottom of the bin... I spotted a little tiny piece of mouse poo-doo.
I knew what it was instantly and set a simple squash-your-head-off trap.
PETA go soak your head.
The trap worked like it was supposed to.
:)
I've used the sticky traps in the past, but different brands make different 'sticky' stuff and mice have escaped... leaving some fur and poo-doo.
The whole idea of being stuck there with their face in a dollop of peanut butter causes them to wet themselves.
I reset the trap just in case he's got a family or some smoking buddies.
Thursday, March 18, 2004
Chapped Lip Faux Pas
Cold weather tends to dry out my lips - nothing new here.
YET... when it comes to chapped lips...
Two things I've observed really crack me up.
One is the little kid that licks his/her lips... the skin for an inch around their mouth turns bright red and gets an even worse chap which they continue to lick.
One kid I saw had a chapped face as far as her tongue could reach - from nose to tip of chin and just as wide.
I nearly laughed out loud as the kid stood there coating her lips with saliva every few seconds.
Poor thing.
I can't say they didn't teach her correctly... my kid did it once this winter too and I was always reminding him to use the Carmex.
Second thing that cracks me up happened to me just today.
Here's the scenario:
Chapped lips.
Carmex in my pocket but not being used often enough.
My lip had a little flake of skin flapping up and irritating me.
So I reached up and got a gorilla grip on the little flap and pulled.
I literally filleted my lip.
The flap opened up what I believe was an artery and hurt so bad I yelped.
The stinging and bleeding lasted a good 10 minutes... and did I learn my lesson?
No.
I do this every winter 2 or 3 times.
Take my advice.
Keep some lip balm on ya... and use it.
And when you get tempted to tug at that little irritating flap of chap... DON'T!
Instead... pull out a few nose hairs or pour lemon juice on a hang nail... There is no blood loss and you recover quicker!
:)
YET... when it comes to chapped lips...
Two things I've observed really crack me up.
One is the little kid that licks his/her lips... the skin for an inch around their mouth turns bright red and gets an even worse chap which they continue to lick.
One kid I saw had a chapped face as far as her tongue could reach - from nose to tip of chin and just as wide.
I nearly laughed out loud as the kid stood there coating her lips with saliva every few seconds.
Poor thing.
I can't say they didn't teach her correctly... my kid did it once this winter too and I was always reminding him to use the Carmex.
Second thing that cracks me up happened to me just today.
Here's the scenario:
Chapped lips.
Carmex in my pocket but not being used often enough.
My lip had a little flake of skin flapping up and irritating me.
So I reached up and got a gorilla grip on the little flap and pulled.
I literally filleted my lip.
The flap opened up what I believe was an artery and hurt so bad I yelped.
The stinging and bleeding lasted a good 10 minutes... and did I learn my lesson?
No.
I do this every winter 2 or 3 times.
Take my advice.
Keep some lip balm on ya... and use it.
And when you get tempted to tug at that little irritating flap of chap... DON'T!
Instead... pull out a few nose hairs or pour lemon juice on a hang nail... There is no blood loss and you recover quicker!
:)
Tuesday, March 16, 2004
A conversation I heard
[Mother who lost her child] "No one cares."
[Policeman at scene] "That's not true... Almost no one."
[Policeman at scene] "That's not true... Almost no one."
Monday, March 15, 2004
Back from Brussels!!!!
What an incredible trip.
I can't possibly tell you all that happened, but can say it went incredibly well.
highlights are:
- we rode every possible type of transportation [train, tram, metro-subway, taxi, bus, etc.] all ON-TIME! no delays.
- dogs were everywhere [on leash] and the people did NOT clean up the doo doo. the rain washes it away in an hour or so.
- they brought their animals INTO the restaurants - a cat [not on leash] sat next to me for lunch one day
- it was drizzly and cold the whole time and even snowed for two days
- the people don't think that God is relevant
- people were all speaking French... it was great to use my high school psudo-language!
- i ate pate for the whole week and found out the last day it was goose-liver.
- there is a statue i town that is a MAJOR sight-seeing monument - it's a little statue of a kid peeing.
- Chinese tourists all stand 4 meters apart when they are in public squares and 4 inches apart when they are walking as a group
- the beer is the best in the world
- people don't sleep there - i had lunch with a lady that gets up at 7, work by 8, home at 6, bars until 2... then does it all over again - daily.
- computer keyboards are all mixed up... i was paying by the minute at the internet cafe and had to pick&peck
- Brussels is a gorgeous city despite everything being damp with a constant mist.
- waffles are for sale all over the place... they call them geoffs [pronounced go-fffff].
- there is NO normal coffee there... it's espresso or nothing. if you order American coffee' they fill a cup with milk and add one t-spoon of espresso!
- brussel sprouts are NOT from brussels
- they sell french fries in every single cafe... but don't have any ketchup. typical dipping medium is mayonnaise or hot-spice cheese.
-the currency exchange rate hurt my wallet... 1.29% ouch. hand 'em a 50 [USD] and you get back 38 euro with change. :(
If I think of any more, I will let you know.
:)
I can't possibly tell you all that happened, but can say it went incredibly well.
highlights are:
- we rode every possible type of transportation [train, tram, metro-subway, taxi, bus, etc.] all ON-TIME! no delays.
- dogs were everywhere [on leash] and the people did NOT clean up the doo doo. the rain washes it away in an hour or so.
- they brought their animals INTO the restaurants - a cat [not on leash] sat next to me for lunch one day
- it was drizzly and cold the whole time and even snowed for two days
- the people don't think that God is relevant
- people were all speaking French... it was great to use my high school psudo-language!
- i ate pate for the whole week and found out the last day it was goose-liver.
- there is a statue i town that is a MAJOR sight-seeing monument - it's a little statue of a kid peeing.
- Chinese tourists all stand 4 meters apart when they are in public squares and 4 inches apart when they are walking as a group
- the beer is the best in the world
- people don't sleep there - i had lunch with a lady that gets up at 7, work by 8, home at 6, bars until 2... then does it all over again - daily.
- computer keyboards are all mixed up... i was paying by the minute at the internet cafe and had to pick&peck
- Brussels is a gorgeous city despite everything being damp with a constant mist.
- waffles are for sale all over the place... they call them geoffs [pronounced go-fffff].
- there is NO normal coffee there... it's espresso or nothing. if you order American coffee' they fill a cup with milk and add one t-spoon of espresso!
- brussel sprouts are NOT from brussels
- they sell french fries in every single cafe... but don't have any ketchup. typical dipping medium is mayonnaise or hot-spice cheese.
-the currency exchange rate hurt my wallet... 1.29% ouch. hand 'em a 50 [USD] and you get back 38 euro with change. :(
If I think of any more, I will let you know.
:)
Thursday, March 04, 2004
Brussels Belgium
I can't believe it's here already... and for those who don't know yet... I'm flying to Brussels tomorrow.
One week walking the streets and talking to everyone willing to talk.
It's a survey trip.
We're looking for a good location to start a church.
A christian church that follows the teachings of Jesus.
Seems that according to the lastest survey...
there are only 1% Christians in Brussels.
That's really low for Christ's sake!!!
Apparently all the cathedrals are now museums.
We're NOT going to build anything either.
The church is the people... not the building.
It won't be just another sit-in-the-pew and get preached at church... but a real church.
Probably in someone's flat or a regular meeting in a cafe.
A place where people actually reach out and help each other,
where people see others as more important than themselves.
You know... what church was meant to be.
There are people out there that are at the end of their ropes, that think noone cares and they don't know where to turn next.
There are also people out there that seem to have it all, but are missing the big picture altogether.
[WHOEVER DIES WITH THE MOST TOYS STILL DIES]
Well... I would hope this new church would be a light for them in their darkness and not just meet their spiritual needs... but the physical ones they are dealing with also.
Here's a link to a webcam in the heart of the city - Grand-Place in Brussels.
You may see me there!!!!
One week walking the streets and talking to everyone willing to talk.
It's a survey trip.
We're looking for a good location to start a church.
A christian church that follows the teachings of Jesus.
Seems that according to the lastest survey...
there are only 1% Christians in Brussels.
That's really low for Christ's sake!!!
Apparently all the cathedrals are now museums.
We're NOT going to build anything either.
The church is the people... not the building.
It won't be just another sit-in-the-pew and get preached at church... but a real church.
Probably in someone's flat or a regular meeting in a cafe.
A place where people actually reach out and help each other,
where people see others as more important than themselves.
You know... what church was meant to be.
There are people out there that are at the end of their ropes, that think noone cares and they don't know where to turn next.
There are also people out there that seem to have it all, but are missing the big picture altogether.
[WHOEVER DIES WITH THE MOST TOYS STILL DIES]
Well... I would hope this new church would be a light for them in their darkness and not just meet their spiritual needs... but the physical ones they are dealing with also.
Here's a link to a webcam in the heart of the city - Grand-Place in Brussels.
You may see me there!!!!
Wednesday, February 25, 2004
Out of the Gutter
Apologies to my dear family and friends for not keeping you abreast of the daily cross I bear.
:)
WE GOT THE DOG.
It seems to be mostly an AKITA... but since it's from the local SPCA it has no doubt been crossed with a LAB.
Seriously.
If you view any of your local SPCA dog 'please adopt me' pages... you'll see that most every dog in there is a LAB mix!
There is either one incredibly busy dog or there is an underground canine society that we don't know about.
The dog has pooped on my floor a number of times.
I remember Triumph the insult dog every time!
"Now THAT is a NICE carpet!"
Stay tuned for my personal training tips on how to break a dog from pooping in the house!
:)
:)
WE GOT THE DOG.
It seems to be mostly an AKITA... but since it's from the local SPCA it has no doubt been crossed with a LAB.
Seriously.
If you view any of your local SPCA dog 'please adopt me' pages... you'll see that most every dog in there is a LAB mix!
There is either one incredibly busy dog or there is an underground canine society that we don't know about.
The dog has pooped on my floor a number of times.
I remember Triumph the insult dog every time!
"Now THAT is a NICE carpet!"
Stay tuned for my personal training tips on how to break a dog from pooping in the house!
:)
Monday, February 09, 2004
Mind in the Gutter
I was running around this past weekend like a head with my chicken cut off... and finally found a block of time totally free.
I sat for a short time and thought of all the possibilities... bike ride, nice long run, clean more in the garage, play more with the kids...
I had spend all last Saturday in the garage... so that was out.
I had spend all morning playing with the kids... so that was out.
I had already gone for a run.
The chain is broken on my bike... I guess I could fix it...
So what to do?
Then it hit me.
I am sick and tired of cleaning out the gutters on our house.
The gutters are all dented up from Hurricane Isabel that came thru here...
So I did it.
I dragged the gutters off the house!
The task wasn't as easy as you would at first think.
The one over the front of the garage came off pretty nicely and without incident.. but the 2 story eave across the full front of our home was a trick.
I climbed up onto the top of the roof... pulled out a few of the 6"+ nails that hold the gutter to the fascia.
Then I tied a rope around the gutter, up over the house and to a tree.
I did this to the other end [40 feet away] and then pulled out all the nails.
I simply went to the back yard and slacked the rope slowly until the gutter laid gently on the ground.
It was great.
I tell ya... when you're a loner at heart you tend to find ingenious ways to pull stuff off without ever having to ask anyone to help!
:)
I sat for a short time and thought of all the possibilities... bike ride, nice long run, clean more in the garage, play more with the kids...
I had spend all last Saturday in the garage... so that was out.
I had spend all morning playing with the kids... so that was out.
I had already gone for a run.
The chain is broken on my bike... I guess I could fix it...
So what to do?
Then it hit me.
I am sick and tired of cleaning out the gutters on our house.
The gutters are all dented up from Hurricane Isabel that came thru here...
So I did it.
I dragged the gutters off the house!
The task wasn't as easy as you would at first think.
The one over the front of the garage came off pretty nicely and without incident.. but the 2 story eave across the full front of our home was a trick.
I climbed up onto the top of the roof... pulled out a few of the 6"+ nails that hold the gutter to the fascia.
Then I tied a rope around the gutter, up over the house and to a tree.
I did this to the other end [40 feet away] and then pulled out all the nails.
I simply went to the back yard and slacked the rope slowly until the gutter laid gently on the ground.
It was great.
I tell ya... when you're a loner at heart you tend to find ingenious ways to pull stuff off without ever having to ask anyone to help!
:)
Thursday, February 05, 2004
WHAT AM I DOING????
I can't believe what's happening.
I just got back from visiting the local SPCA.
My wife is somehow brain-washing me into thinking we need a dog!!!
It took me 9 years to get rid of our first one - it was a Dalmatian.
It had a seizure disorder and lost all bodily fluids once a month.
It took me 9 weeks to get rid of our second one - Miniature dachshund.
He chewed up all my daughters favorite dolls heads... and peed every place but outside.
It's my twin daughters 11th birthday and my wife thinks we need to get them a dog.
By the way... if you girls are reading this I want you to act surprised if I get persuaded to actually get you a dog... OK?!
She [my wife] has got me fully reeled into her delusion and I even said what 'breed' we should be looking for!!!
Golden Retriever
Send help.
I just got back from visiting the local SPCA.
My wife is somehow brain-washing me into thinking we need a dog!!!
It took me 9 years to get rid of our first one - it was a Dalmatian.
It had a seizure disorder and lost all bodily fluids once a month.
It took me 9 weeks to get rid of our second one - Miniature dachshund.
He chewed up all my daughters favorite dolls heads... and peed every place but outside.
It's my twin daughters 11th birthday and my wife thinks we need to get them a dog.
By the way... if you girls are reading this I want you to act surprised if I get persuaded to actually get you a dog... OK?!
She [my wife] has got me fully reeled into her delusion and I even said what 'breed' we should be looking for!!!
Golden Retriever
Send help.
Wednesday, February 04, 2004
Clearwater Revival
I'm losing it.
I actually felt sorry for the fish.
Some friends came over and witnessed the experiment themselves.
They all wanted to know what chemicals I was using to treat the tank...
Chemicals?
There are supposed to be chemicals?
When they left I stared deeply into the murky waters and saw movement... and decide to further traumatize their measly little lives once again...
I did a FULL water change!
I again drained the tank and tossed them onto a temporary flower vase... looked pretty cool actually.
I scrubbed the tank and all items inside... rocks included.
I found a serious micro-culture of algae living under the undergravel filter system!!!! The bloody culprit!
I replaced all and refilled the tank... treated the water with some 'chemicals' and then tossed in the suckers.
I tested the pH levels and the ammonia levels with a handy-dandy kit I forgot I had and all seems fine.. for now.
Water was clear this morning.
They survived the night.
We'll see....
:)
I actually felt sorry for the fish.
Some friends came over and witnessed the experiment themselves.
They all wanted to know what chemicals I was using to treat the tank...
Chemicals?
There are supposed to be chemicals?
When they left I stared deeply into the murky waters and saw movement... and decide to further traumatize their measly little lives once again...
I did a FULL water change!
I again drained the tank and tossed them onto a temporary flower vase... looked pretty cool actually.
I scrubbed the tank and all items inside... rocks included.
I found a serious micro-culture of algae living under the undergravel filter system!!!! The bloody culprit!
I replaced all and refilled the tank... treated the water with some 'chemicals' and then tossed in the suckers.
I tested the pH levels and the ammonia levels with a handy-dandy kit I forgot I had and all seems fine.. for now.
Water was clear this morning.
They survived the night.
We'll see....
:)
Tuesday, February 03, 2004
Fishtank of Death
I can't believe it myself.
I took an hour yesterday cleaning out my fishtank and it's totally, no kidding, totally green and cloudy today.
The two remaining fish must really wonder what I'm up to.
You can tell they are alive because every now and then they come over and press their noses against the glass.
My kids get all excited and spread the news that they made it another day... sick I tell ya.
Usually the tank lasts for a week or two before it clouds up... but I must confess... I didn't do a totally thorough job this time.
I was in a bit of a hurry and didn't take out the rocks and scrub each one.
I drained the water, dragged out the sorry suckers [two overworked algae eaters], rinsed the plastic vegetation, even put in a new filter and new treated water... but didn't mess with the rocks.
Dang.
Anyway... the cruel experiment goes on and on.
:)
I took an hour yesterday cleaning out my fishtank and it's totally, no kidding, totally green and cloudy today.
The two remaining fish must really wonder what I'm up to.
You can tell they are alive because every now and then they come over and press their noses against the glass.
My kids get all excited and spread the news that they made it another day... sick I tell ya.
Usually the tank lasts for a week or two before it clouds up... but I must confess... I didn't do a totally thorough job this time.
I was in a bit of a hurry and didn't take out the rocks and scrub each one.
I drained the water, dragged out the sorry suckers [two overworked algae eaters], rinsed the plastic vegetation, even put in a new filter and new treated water... but didn't mess with the rocks.
Dang.
Anyway... the cruel experiment goes on and on.
:)
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